I don't know how to start weaning the night fee...

I don't know how to start weaning the night feeds but have you tried getting DH to try and settle him? Or does he just refuse until he gets a feed? I mean he is at the age where you CAN cut out those feeds, for sure. I just don't really know myself, this is more of a bump comment lol. As for the co-sleeping/rest... can you sidecar his cot? Check that out on google images. Try one night of sleeping on top of his fitted sheet, then fit it to his cot. If he becomes ok with sleeping in the cot when it's done as a sidecar, then put the rail up again and see how he goes. My son sleeps with us a bit and that is my plan if it becomes an issue down the track.